Lack of Crisis

"Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out." 


It wouldn't be fair if I only took the time to blog when I felt like what I had to say could be inspiring or refreshing. I looked up the definition of inspiring and it says, "To create a positive feeling in someone."  Everyone always tells me how inspiring I am...or how inspiring my writing is, but I don't always feel that I deserve that pretty title.  However, ANYONE that has been through, is going through, survived, conquered, barely made it out alive, from a disease, deserves to wear the title of "Inspiring." I agree.

When going through crisis - disease related, marriage related, addiction related, family related, LIFE related, we are all survivors.  Every day that we wake up becomes another notch on our survival stick.  Life is hard and messy and beautiful and long and short.  It's life, no one gets out alive.  Although, everyone is different.  Some of us, when going through trauma or crisis, put on a mask so that we can just simply survive.  We emotionally detach from our bodies.  Sometimes more is asked of us and sometimes we are allowed to let our guard down.  We have to be allowed to let our guard down.  Not only by those around us, but we have to give ourselves permission to feel.  Without it, we become numb.  Numbness is a dark, unhealthy place that we don't want to go.  It's a place that Inspiring, Fighter and Survivor go when no one else is looking.  When everyone goes back to living their lives and the immediate threat of danger isn't as near to us, we can go there.  We've just been hit by HUGE waves that nearly sank our boat, so you would think that thanking God for life alone would be the simplest of things, but it isn't.  We've dug a hole, jumped in, placed ourselves in fetal position and have decided to linger a while.

Today's blog is dedicated to those of you that have ever felt numb.  No one knows how long we may stay in that dry desert, but at some point, we will start looking for water.  That is our body's way of saying, "HELP!"  It is time to feel again.  Take the mask off, reattach your spirit to your body...eat, drink, sleep, cry, be mad, be happy, be sad...just feel.  It's alright.

Now, we have to start working after months, maybe years, of being in the desert.  We have to be a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a co-worker.  We aren't just surviving cancer, we are surviving life.  All you need is a shovel, but you have to be the one to dig yourself out.  That doesn't mean alone.  It just means that you have to be the one to ask for help.  Most of the people around you probably don't even realize that your spirit has been on a trip.  Your body was here, but your spirit has been hundred of miles from home, lingering, waiting for the drought to be over.  I've been there, I'm there, but I've put the shovel in the dirt because I understand that living is brave.