Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Lists

"Goals in writting are dreams with deadlines."

If you ask anyone that knows me well, they will tell you that in this life I have not yet learned how to fly by the seat of my pants.  I like schedules and plans and lists and organization.  I even had a conversation with someone recently and we were talking about how the lines in the floor, after vacuuming, are therapeutic and make us happy.

Lists are gratifying.  You fill them with things that you need done or want to do and then you check them off one by one.  Some of my lists still have empty check boxes, but when you finish a list, it is a major feeling of victory and accomplishment. Maybe that is why I do it.  Life can kind of wrap itself around your ankles and drag you around, but if you put your goals down on a piece of paper, it seems to loosen the rope.  It gives you a little control over what is next. Control - check.

I just started a new list.  It is titled, "Unknowns."  That list is already reaching 20 and I haven't been able to check anything off yet.  However, a very wise person that is aware of my need for lists and order told me that if I made a list of unknowns then that would be planning.  Magical words for those of us O.C.D.'ers.  My "Unknowns" list starts like this:

1.) Learn to fly by the seat of my pants. A MUST in a world of unknowns!  We never know what tomorrow may bring.




Thursday, August 4, 2011

The best teachers in the world...kids.

"The trouble with learning to parent on the job is that your child is the teacher."


1. Try new things, even if you're scared.


2. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back.


3. Don't flush the toilet when your Mom is in the shower.


4. Never ask for anything that costs more than $10.


5. If you can laugh, you can get through anything.


6. Chocolate cake fixes almost everything.


7. When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents.


8. When you hear the word, "Uh-oh" it's already too late.


9. The best learning doesn't come from books.


10. Crayons and Scentsy do not remain solid on hot summer days.


11. Everyone needs a time out, sometimes.


12. Celebrate every first and every last.  No matter how big or small.


13.  Birthday's are special, no matter how old you are.


14. Honesty is always the best policy.


15. Every kiss is different.


16. Love unconditionally.  Even when it hurts.


17. A band-aid can heal skin and hearts.


18. Mom is ALWAYS right.


19. Don't touch the curling iron...period.


20. Don't grow up too fast.

Band-aids Needed

"Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead."


I write about every other break or healed piece of my heart, but not this piece.  Maybe, it was out of fear or hope...or a little of both.  


I know you'll read this, eventually.  I don't have much left to say, except this...This is me letting you go, the only way I know how.  I pray every day that I'm not bitter and that you will find what you want and need in the world. 

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Butterfly on my Shoulder

Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.


I have to start by saying, it is so nice to talk to people about their problems, again.  For almost a year now, most people felt like I had enough on my plate and wouldn't share their plate with me.  All the while, I was begging people to share with me because it makes your own plate of chocolate (mine ALWAYS has chocolate on it) look like carrots and peas.  Many times, helping other people out with their struggles, helps us figure out our own.  In the last several months, as I have learned of things that those dear to me and maybe not so near to me, have been going through, I have come to recognize the same constant in all the conversations.  Happiness.  That word should be a paragraph.  It says so many things.  We seek happiness, we long for it, pursue it, hope for it, pray for it, wish for it, need it, love it, fear it, don't know what to do with it, run from it. All the while, it is chasing after us.  


Happiness comes in waves or moments.  Maybe it is the butterflies that you get after a first kiss, maybe it is basking in the sun, the first time your son smiles at you, the way your daughter's hair smells. Maybe, it is from success at your job or in a sport.  We all have our own definition of the word.  No one can be happy all the time and no one can survive this world without a little bit of it at many different times.  No one can give it to you.  You can feel it with a person, but they don't define it for you.  Other times, happiness is letting go and letting be.  You can't buy it or bottle it, but you can decide to let it in.  Through all the crap that life serves, we can decide our own fate...happiness in the quiet moments, in the dark moments, in the joyful moments, in the busy moments.  It comes and it goes, but we can only make ourselves happy.  You can't reflect it onto someone else if you aren't glowing with it.


So, for a moment, come sit with me in this field of grass. Watch the beauty of the butterflies soaring around.  Leave your plate at home and just breath.  Quietly, a butterfly will land on your shoulder and sit a while.